Talking With Children About Violence

Watch The Video Below

In the wake of multiple mass shootings in the United States taking place in seemingly mundane places where people ought to feel safe, such as grocery stores, schools, and hospitals many parents have felt the urge to hold their children tighter and a responsibility to educate their kids. Children may be approaching you with questions about mass shootings, school shootings, and violence. Talking with children about violence can feel difficult due to having to understand how to talk to such an innocent mind about something so brutal. In this video Shereece Saxton Harely, an LCSWA with years of experience working with children and trauma gives parents advice on how to approach these conversations about violence with kids depending on the age of the child.

If your child is a toddler, it’s best not to discuss the details. But they will see your emotions, so let them know how you’re feeling, without the specifics.

“Mommy is just feeling a bit sad right now, but it’s okay.”

If your child is over the age of 5, chances are that one of their friends on the playground will talk about the news you’ve just seen.

So you need to talk to your child first. You can do this by:

Educating yourself on the matter – Understand the incident before speaking to your child about it.
Ask them what they know – Find out what they know about the incident, and educate them further with what you know.
What is the message? – There needs to be some form of take-away from this conversation. Determine exactly what you want to teach them before you open the conversation.
Validate their feelings – Ask them how they feel, and tell them it’s okay to feel that way. Tell them how you feel, too.
Question time – After you’ve discussed the matter, let them ask questions. If they query their safety, reassure them that their school takes multiple safety measures to keep them safe at all times. Perhaps mention a specific person, so that when they go to school, they can see that person and feel safe, ei: the security guard.

For more information on talking with children about violence, watch the full video above. For more of expertise on hard conversations with children, check out our other video on Talking To Kids About Racism.

Video Made By: Shereece Saxton Harley, LCSWA

Shereece Saxton Harley is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Associate (LCSWA), Qualified Mental Health Professional (QMHP), and MSW who provides assessment and counseling services for individuals from early adolescence through adulthood. Shereece graduated from Methodist University with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and a minor in Philosophy and continued her education, earning a Master’s in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University. She also holds Early Childhood Education credentials and is in the process of working towards a Doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy.