This is a simple but powerful skill from DBT that helps you lower emotional reactivity by combining calming thoughts with physical relaxation. If your mind tends to go into overdrive when you’re stressed, this can help retrain your response. You can use the mindfulness audio below to guide you through it.

Here’s how to do it.

Step 1: Pick a Stressful Situation

Think of something that regularly stresses you out—maybe a conversation, an interaction, or a type of situation you dread. Write it down.
Example: “When I get unexpected criticism at work.”

Step 2: Notice What You’re Telling Yourself

Ask yourself, “What am I saying to myself in that moment that makes it worse?”
These thoughts often come quickly and automatically, so take a second to slow them down and get them on paper.
Examples: “I’m going to get fired.” “They must hate me.” “I can’t deal with this.”

Step 3: Rethink It

Now, come up with some more balanced thoughts to replace the ones that are fueling your stress. You’re not trying to sugarcoat reality—just looking for a way to shift your perspective enough that it helps your nervous system calm down.
Examples: “This feels uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous.” “One piece of feedback doesn’t mean I’m failing.” “I’ve handled hard things before—I can handle this too.”

Step 4: Practice Relaxing While Thinking the New Thought

Here’s where the audio comes in.
When you’re calm and not in the middle of a stressful moment, sit somewhere quiet and play the mindfulness track.

As you listen:

• Imagine the stressful situation.
• On the inhale, say your new thought to yourself silently.
• On the exhale, say the words “so relax” as you intentionally let your body soften.

Do this a few times, slowly and gently. The idea is to train your body to associate these new thoughts with a relaxed state instead of tension or panic.

Step 5: Keep Practicing

The more often you practice this pairing—effective thought + relaxation—the more natural it becomes. It’s like building a new mental reflex.

Step 6: Try It in Real Life

Eventually, when the actual situation happens again, you’ll be more prepared to pause, breathe, and use your new thought in the moment. Even if you can’t do the whole breathing exercise, just thinking the new thought might help you stay grounded.